The pain of losing both of our children, simultaneous financial and personal bankruptcy in a fairly short period of one life was too much also for us. With my beloved wife Branka we thought it was all over, that there is nothing left in this world. That it’s time for us to go to the other side. Back to our loved ones to meet them again.
But the right messages always come at exactly the right time and help us keep on going. Truly amazing how perfect Life is in its might.
In all the confusion and despair I immediately turned to my longtime mentor Neale Donald Walsch; I know that his partner Em Claire arranged for Neale to personally reply to me immediately. I quote:
My dear Branka and Bojan…
I have read your email message, which you sent to me through my beloved Em. I share Em’s dream of easier, more joyful things to come for you.
I deeply understand the need for – as you put it – “somebody to place some wind to our backs.” As you must know if you are aware of my own story, I spent a year as a street person, living without a roof over my head, scrambling to just get enough food to eat, surviving in a homeless person’s camp, with a tent and a flashlight and a few tiny possessions in my sack.
And while I have never suffered the pain of losing a child, and would certainly never compare my life’s struggle with those who have lost two, I can relate to at least part of your story, and feel deep empathy for the rest.
The sadness on a human level, and the reason that so many people seem to turn and run from you, is that there seems very little, in physical-world terms, that most people can do for you. They can offer to help you share your CV, they may be able to provide some emotional companionship and sympathy for a while, but then they run out of things they can offer, and so they feel helpless.
I understand their feeling, because I only wish there was something physically tangible that I could do. The challenge for me is that I receive many emails from people all over the world sharing the story of their own personal tragedies with me, and hoping that somehow I might be able to offer them assistance.
As I open and read these emails and letters, I begin to wish there were 100 of me – because the influx is far, far too much for one person to offer a practical, physical response to. So I am limited to offering spiritual guidance, emotional counsel, and, sometimes, a bit of practical advice…hoping that this will provide at least a little support as so many people face enormous challenges.
And so I respond to you now from this place of humble hope that the words and energy I send you here may allow you to feel a little wind at your back. I shall do my very best to share with you what I have come to understand about life’s process and challenges – although, since you have been students of Conversations with God, I fear that I may be repeating what you already know.
I’ll begin by re-stating God’s solemn promise that death does not exist. This does little to end the pain of your loss, but it may, at least, reduce the deep sadness that you may have felt for your children. Their Souls are joyful and happy as can be, as I know that you know, because you believe that they both “visited” your wife.
I’ll then move forward to state that no soul ever dies at a time or in a way that is not of their choosing – as you also know from having read HOME WITH GOD in a Life That Never Ends. But I want to state it here anyway, if only to create a context for what I’m going to say next.
I’m going to say that if the souls of your two children concluded their most current physical expression when and how they “wanted” to…then there must have been a reason that they chose this. That is what we must look for if we wish to find a place of peace regarding this experience of deep loss.
And I want to advise you that you will not be able to discover this reason with your Mind. You can only open yourself to this knowledge by journeying to the place where the Mind and the Soul meet, to open a passageway to the Soul, and to access the Soul’s wisdom.
When you have found your way to the quiet place where the Soul resides, ask gently: What was the reason that our children left in the way that they did? Was there a gift they were seeking to offer us, that they could do in no other way? Allow your Soul to bring you an answer. Do this individually, perhaps in meditation. Have a notebook or some paper around to write on, and be prepared to write down the words that come to you.
I have attached a document to this email that describes how one can find a pathway to the Soul. I hope you will open it and read it.
I hope, too, that this communication from me to you may be of some help as you face the challenges that life has placed before you.
I send you my highest and best thoughts, and my knowing that God’s love surrounds you always…and all ways.
Yours in service,